Yertle the Turtle of Good Intentions.

When I was younger, I spent December stacking resolution upon resolution, Yertle the Turtle of Good Intentions, gazing into the new year at what I thought would become the new me.

Resolutions were emotionally resolute, but in terms of practicality, they were no better than predictions. Making a New Year’s resolution was more like gambling than work. Black Jack Self Development, Who I Want To Be playing against the House of Who I Am.

Sure, I might win a few hands. Might even get a hot streak. But sooner or later, the House always wins. My resolutions always left me feeling bankrupt.

So now, I don’t make resolutions about the future. I make course corrections to the present.

I don’t stand in December and look for little worm holes of self-improvement to transport me into January. Instead, I cruise along the highway of December, cross the state line into January, make adjustments to my internal GPS, and just keep on truckin’ into February.

Here are my latest course corrections:

• Wake 5 minutes earlier.
  
• Plant more spinach.
  
• Think of my son as my teacher.
  
• Take more baths.
  
• Surprise Alice.
  
• Learn to sing.
  
• Smile when I walk.
  
• Go to a new museum.
  
• Try a new vegetable.
  
• Take more naps.
  

Not a “resolution” in the bunch. Just simple course corrections, on-the-road activities to add variety and joy to this good long ride.

Comments

Media Jean: I don’t get adults. Why are they so big on resolutions, promises and rules? Can’t they just be happy?

Chip: They do make it kinda hard on themselves.

Media Jean: Them?! I’m talking about us!

Chip: What do you mean?

Media Jean: They’re always trying to change us! They can’t let anything go! Leave socks on the floor, forget to make the bed, walk on the couch, make too much noise, use a rude word, you name it—and BAM!—they pounce on you!

Chip: It does get annoying sometimes.

Media Jean: Sometimes?! For kids, every day is New Year’s Day and adults pile on the their resolutions! Be more polite! Clean your room! Brush your teeth! Don’t put your feet on furniture! Get more sleep! Wake up on time!

Chip: Do homework first. Eat less junk food. Eat more vegetables. Play less video games. Read more books.

Media Jean: Kids don’t need New Year’s resolutions. We have New Year’s Nags and they last all year long!

Chip: And they’re not even new.

Media Jean: That’s true! I’d love to hear something really new from a grown-up. Like, “Eat dessert first in case you get full.”

Chip: Or, “Plant vegetables like flowers: to look at, not eat.”

Media Jean: “Don’t take anything I say too seriously: consider the source.”

Chip: “It’s too quiet in here, make some noise.”

Media Jean: “It’s too neat in here, make a mess.”

Chip: “Sometimes it’s OK to pick your nose.”

Media Jean: Wouldn’t it be great if we could make New Year’s resolutions for grown-ups?

Chip: Maybe we should.

Media Jean: Let’s meet at the park and start a list!

Chip: It’ll be a long list.

Media Jean: I got time.

Chip: Me, too. See you there!!

​​Comic strip from the series "The Homework Protest"
(Kid, Inc. Volume 1: Look Out, Tomorrow, Here We Come!)

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