The (Overwhelmed) Parent’s Prerogative.

Chip has been carrying a book everywhere he goes.

That got my attention. He hauls entire libraries on his cell phone and Kindle, but one physical book? I tried to remember the last time he carried an actual book. I think it was, Brown Bear, Brown Bear.

The book turned out to be, The Truth about Santa: Wormholes, Robots, and What Really Happens on Christmas Eve, by Gregory Mone.

I read a few pages and couldn’t put it down. Mone sets out to prove, scientifically, that Santa is real. I figured Chip was reading it for the same reasons: it’s a smart and funny spoof on the whole Santa myth.

But that night, as I tucked him into bed, our conversation took an unexpected turn.

CHIP: Dad, do you believe in Santa Claus? I mean, really believe?

ME: Well, uh...

CHIP: I think I believe in Santa. Almost everything he does is theoretically possible.

ME: I don’t know...

CHIP: Santa probably isn’t true. But I like the idea. It makes me feel better about things.

ME: OK, but--

CHIP: Say there’s a 99% chance something isn’t true. Is it wrong to hold on to that 1%?

ME: That’s kinda tricky--

CHIP: But what if that 1% is really, really great? What if it made you feel braver, or kinder, or happier? Shouldn’t you believe it then? I mean, there’s still a 1% chance that it’s true, right?

By this time, I was lost. What was the best answer here?

I needed time to think! So I took the Parent’s Prerogative: I stalled.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” I said, which as all parents know is code for, “I don’t know the answer.”

I tucked him in, read, The Twelve Bots of Christmas, kissed him goodnight, and got out of there before he could pile anything else on.

​Sometimes, as a parent, you just have to retreat until you’re ready.

Comments

Media Jean: Parents have a code??

Chip: So all those times my dad said, “We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” he really meant, “I don’t know.”

Media Jean: This is our Rosetta Stone! Now we can decipher all of their hidden messages!

Chip: Like, “We’ll see.” That’s parent code for, “I already decided and the answer is No.”

Media Jean: Ha ha! “Time for bed” is code for, “I need a break from my kids!”

Chip: “I’m the parent” = “Do as I say, not as I do.”

Media Jean: “This hurts me more than it does you” = “I don’t know what else to do!”

Chip: “You don’t always get what you want in life” = “I never get what I want in life.”

Media Jean: “I’m not going to ask you again” = “I’m going to keep on asking until you give up and do as I say.”

Chip: This is fun.

Media Jean: Yeah! Let’s turn this into a card game. We’ll call it, The Parent Code: A Game for Over-Parented Kids. It’ll be a classic, right up there with Uno and Go Fish!

Chip: I’d buy one.

Media Jean: Heck, what kid wouldn’t? We’ll sell a million copies!

​​Comic strip from the series "Santa's Wormhole-Powered Sleigh"
(Kid, Inc. Volume 1: Look Out, Tomorrow, Here We Come!)

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